My Husband Gave Me the Best Breastfeeding Advice I Ever Received
And no—he knew absolutely nothing about breastfeeding.
I was eight weeks postpartum with our first baby, Micah, and breastfeeding was not going the way I had imagined.
Six months pregnant, we had moved to a new city, bought a house, and started a complete renovation—all while living in an apartment and preparing to become parents for the first time.No family nearby.
No established community. No village.
I thought renovating a house while pregnant with our first baby in a new city would be the hard part.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The hardest part started after we brought Micah home. Breastfeeding wasn’t working, so I did what new moms are told to do: I asked for help.
The advice I received? “Just keep trying.” "Breast is Best."
So I did.
Three weeks became five. Five became eight.
I kept putting him to the breast, trying different things, waiting for that magical moment when everything would finally click.
Somewhere along the way, “just keep trying” started to feel a lot like “you’re not trying hard enough.”
Until one day my husband gently looked at me and said:
“Melissa, you have to make a choice. Formula or pump.”
Plot twist: That may have been the best breastfeeding advice I ever received.
Not because pumping was the “right” answer or formula would have been the wrong one.
But because someone finally reminded me that I had options.
I chose to pump exlusively at a time where no one was doing that. It was 2008- the only pump options was a wall plug-in and some had a car adapter. No one suggested pumping exclusively. No friend or family member. No pediatrician or lactation expert. I figured it out on my own and went on to exclusively pump for Micah’s first year.
But that experience stayed with me.
Today, after more than two decades as an occupational therapist and years working in lactation, I look back at that first-time mom and wonder:
What if someone had looked beyond the latch?
What if someone had looked at my baby’s feeding skills, positioning, regulation and development—and also looked at me? My recovery, comfort, exhaustion, environment, confidence and goals?
What if, instead of telling me to keep trying, someone had helped me understand why it wasn’t working?
And why did it take eight weeks for someone to remind me that feeding my baby wasn’t a pass/fail test?
Those questions are a big part of why MAMA & BABE exists.
I created the kind of support I wish I’d had.
I come into your home, where feeding and real life are actually happening, and we look at the whole picture—breastfeeding, bottle feeding, pumping, baby’s development and regulation, and mom’s comfort, recovery and confidence.
And when something isn’t working, we don’t simply try harder.
We get curious about why.
That’s where my background in occupational therapy and lactation come together.
Feeding is one of the very first things a mother and baby learn to do together. Sometimes the answer is a better latch or a different position. Sometimes we need to zoom out.
And sometimes a mother simply needs someone to say:
“This isn’t working. Let’s talk about your options.”
My job isn’t to decide what feeding success should look like for your family.
It’s to understand what’s happening, give you options, support your goals, and help you find a path that works for both you and your baby.
Because breastfeeding can be beautiful.
So can pumping. So can bottle feeding. So can a combination of all three.
There isn’t one right way to feed your baby. There is the way that works for your baby, your body, and your family.
Seventeen years ago, my husband unknowingly gave me permission to find ours.
Today, I get to help other mothers find theirs.
With love, Melissa
MAMA & BABE 🤍
Because feeding is never just about feeding.
Did feeding your first baby look anything like you expected?
Hit reply and tell me your story. I’d love to hear it. 🤍
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